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Women of Impact

Jul 28, 2021

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Relationships are never easy, and marriage is harder than most would imagine. With the average length of marriage in the U.S, being just over 8 years, I am happily celebrating 19 years of marriage this year and sharing some of the lessons learned along the way. I am answering your questions about everything from how to know if he’s the “one” to de-escalating those heated arguments that leave you angered and red in the face. Relationships are beautiful when you recognize the amount of work it takes to be in a great relationship, and when you finally realize the “perfect” relationship doesn’t exist and never did. So, whether you are in a relationship, thinking about marriage, dating or not even started yet, there’s definitely make you stop and think, ‘huh maybe I should give this a try.’ It’s not for everyone, but being married and in a healthy and loving relationship can be one of the best experiences for anyone.



2 Tips for when you find yourself sabotaging your own relationships:

1. Write it down and reflect to explore your feelings in detail with no judgement. When and how did things progress from argument? Exactly was it that triggered your response.
2. Communicate with your partner about exactly what things are triggering you before the next argument. Be open, be vulnerable, and be patient with yourself.


How to disrupt heated arguments before they escalate any further:

1. Recall the argument and identify where would have been a good moment to walk away and take the time to change your mood.
2. Consider writing a letter to yourself to remind you to disrupt the moment.
3. Use something meaningful and significant, such as Lisa’s love chip, to signal to your partner and yourself what’s important.



Selection Matters | Lisa breaks down why who you choose to be with is critical [0:42]

Sacrificial Love | A love worth sacrificing for starts with open communication [1:52]

Self Sabotage | When killing relationships is a habit, identify your triggers and talk [4:42]

Growth Minded | Lisa on why you can’t grow with someone that doesn’t grow [13:49]

Arguments | Unavoidable, but treatable when you find ways to disrupt the anger [17:16]



“If you're with somebody, you should be looking at them saying, are they worth the sacrifice that I could be spending on a relationship with myself?” [4:24]


“That's the beauty about being in a relationship, being vulnerable, showing that you want to get better, but that you're not there yet.” [8:06]


“If they're not going to be there for you, while you're stumbling while you're trying to figure it out, then maybe they're not the right one for you.” [8:48]


“It all comes down to being each other's security, knowing I'm not going anywhere, when you know, someone's not going anywhere. It gives you a sense of safety.” [12:26]


“Be vulnerable with your partner, show your weaknesses, show your vulnerabilities that builds trust. And honestly, a relationship without trust isn't a relationship.” [13:37]


“having the communication about what the disrupter means, and then both of you being on board with making sure that you can use it in order for you both to have a beautiful freakin relationship.” [26:36]