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Women of Impact

Aug 27, 2021

Relationships inevitably have arguments, fights, and disagreements, but are you experiencing them more than normal? Are they taking a toll on the relationship? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to address these questions and discuss how to overcome chronic fighting and begin loving each other instead. They talk about how arguing is a sign of deeper issues, why you need to choose compassion, the importance of reframing your partners motives and understanding their perspective, how to let go and move on from arguments, and tools you can use to deescalate any disagreement.



Constant Fighting | Lisa and Tom address a couple’s case of constant-explosive arguing. [0:35]

Collision of Values | Tom and Lisa on how arguments are about something much deeper. [3:41]

Choose Compassion | Tom and Lisa discuss strategically approaching problems. [4:34]

Reframe Motives | Tom describes the letter he wrote himself to hack his neurochemistry. [7:30]

Understanding | Lisa and Tom discuss why you need sympathy for your partner. [10:04]

Fight for Them | Tom and Lisa reveal you need to know if you want to fight for them. [11:49]

Let Go | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of truly letting go and moving forward. [13:39]

Needs | Lisa recalls a time when both her and Tom’s deep needs weren’t in sync. [16:32]

Tactics | Lisa and Tom discuss effective practices to keep yourself rooted in love. [19:31]


“You can’t let dust settle in a relationship.” [2:10]

“There’s a generosity of framing.” [10:04]

“It comes down to people’s ability to make something sacred.” [21:12]